Shall I file that under S?

Well I have had a few encounters with the Ugandan wildlife. I've been rammed by an ankoli cow (not pleasant) had a cockroach fly at my head (even more unpleasant) but my most interesting was finding a snake in my filing cabinet.

Opening the wardrobe door (my filing cabinet is actually a large double door wardrobe) one morning I thought I saw something move among the files but dealing with it the only way I knew how, I shut the door and pretended not to have noticed.

Joyce arrived for my meeting. We sat for a few hours then I went to put the file back. This time I saw it properly, a small thin black snake curled up on the paper work. The snake seeing me did a quick about turn and headed under the paper. Turning to Joyce I told her I'd just seen a snake in the files. Quick as lightning, Joyce (who wears a calliper on her left leg) bolted out the door with a big scream and headed for the restaurant next door. Sticking my head out the office door I saw her coming back with a small boy holding a large stick.

Small boy with large stick then commences to empty out my files. Feeling a little annoyed at the mess he's making I point to where I had seen the snake. He starts jabbing the papers with his stick. I ask Joyce, who is outside with just her head poking through the door, what this boy is doing. He's going to kill the snake she replies. I make some protest about this trying to explain that it was very small and wasn't doing any harm, all falling on deaf ears as the stick prodding continues.

No snake appears. Joyce asks me if I really saw a snake or was it a crocodile (I'm hoping she means lizard otherwise Joyce and I need to have a chat about reptiles). Definitely a snake Joyce, not a crocodile I respond. At that we both see a slither of a tail go behind the shelves and head for the bottom drawer. Pleased, Joyce yells at the small boy that it's now in the drawer. Yanking the drawer from it's hinges it's dragged outside onto the yard and tipped over. Small boy, watched now by a few Ugandan men, starts prodding the stick around the paper which at the same time is scattering around the yard. Even more annoyed by the mess he's making after a few minutes of no snake we decide that it must still be in the office and I start to pick up the papers. I reach for a rolled up wad of flip chart and out slides the snake. Small boy is on it like a flash and battering it with a stick. I at the same time am battering the arm of the small boy trying to get him to let the snake go back in the bush and not to kill it... too late snake is dead.

The Ugandans are all pleased with themselves. Joyce explains that they always kill snakes regardless of what they are. I say it was just a little one and we weren't even sure if it was poisonous. I head home later and go through our not very extensive wildlife guide to see if I can identify the dead snake. The only one it bares a resemblance to is a black mamba – the most dangerous snake! I'm now appreciating the Ugandans response to it a little more now.... I think I'll work from home tomorrow.